Friday, June 17, 2011

Some Ramblings for Father's Day

This weekend we celebrate Father's Day. I always enjoyed Father’s Day more than Mother’s Day and I’m not sure why. Perhaps because it seems less stuffy; certainly, it’s less saccharine. There’s just something about Mother’s Day that could give a person diabetes.

Sugar Cubes
On Mother’s Day we elevate motherhood to a state of near sanctity and although I think there might be arguments to support that type of adoration I think it causes a lot of emotional pain and disappointment. I would prefer we just had a national Women’s Day, a day that would commemorate the nurturing and mentoring role that women play in the world -- something more inclusive that recognizes all women are mothers in their hearts and souls. There were childless women in my life who contributed greatly to the quality of my life and I know those ladies are more the rule than the exception. Motherhood, I believe, makes too much of biology and not enough of the graces all good women possess.

Father’s Day doesn’t seem to suffer from the same deep psychic and social constructions. First of all I don’t think fathers need a holiday to validate themselves as much as women have been led to believe they do; an example of this might be the fact that it would probably be a rare dad who died for lack of a Father’s Day card. Most men wouldn’t even suffer a bout of gas over the issue.

But blow Mother’s Day and you might have a conversation like this…

            “Congratulations,” your sister will snipe when she calls you, “mother’s dying of grief. I hope you’re satisfied. Bob and I went over to the house with the kids this afternoon to take mother to brunch but she wouldn’t go. She wanted to sit next to the phone waiting for your call. She believed you’d call because you apparently didn’t send a card but when you didn’t call, well…listen, all I can say is if she dies I’ll never forgive you.”

Men are different. If you blow Sunday you can just call and say you’ll be over Wednesday. Your conversation will more likely go like this:

            “So, Dad, I’m sorry I forgot to call you Sunday or send a card…”
            “What are you talking about?” Immediately you know he’s wondering if he just had a birthday or something.

            “Father’s Day, Dad. Sunday was Father’s Day.”
            “Oh, yeah, I think your Mother might have mentioned that.  So, hey, whaddya’ think about them there Cubs this year, huh? Didcha’ see what they did in Pittsburgh?”

            “Dad, you want I should maybe pick up some Chinese?” You say that because you know he likes the egg rolls at a place in the old neighborhood and he never gets over there anymore. “I’ll shoot over to One Hung Low’s place…”
            “Naw, don’t bother.” Then he brightens, “But hey, if you’re passing Menards…”

Father’s Day is just so user-friendly, so less labor-intensive than Mother’s Day, you know what I mean?

This weekend I’ll be remembering my Dad and two wonderful grandfathers. I also want to thank my husband for being a fantastic father to our son Shaun.

May all you Dads out there enjoy your day and BTW, just a head’s up: Ace Hardware has some great sales this weekend.

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