Showing posts with label January Moon. Show all posts
Showing posts with label January Moon. Show all posts

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Interview with Lt. Del Carter, CPD


This was me at 6 AM
when my company
arrived!
Note: I apologize that this post was released before it was completed! That was an accident! It also speaks volumes about the day I had today!

Anyway, here is the final cut!
______________________________

Well, last week I explained how the people in January Moon showed up at my home one very early January morn and forced their way into my home and heart and changed my life forever.

That's no hyperbole; they changed my life in ways that are yet unfolding and which, I suspect, will unfold for quite sometime. It's extraordinary to have your life completely transformed at the awesome age of 59; 18 months later I am a different person in a different life -- and it is sweet. It took awhile to get here but I believe I am finally doing what I was born to do and all of my life's experiences (both wonderful and dreadful), as well as my education, were prelude to this point.

The person most responsible for changing my life is Del Carter. Del and I sat down this morning over coffee and discussed this, as well as other things.

MG: Del, I can't thank you enough for showing up at my door!

DC: Looking back, I think I need to thank you! It was a huge leap of faith to let us all descend on you as we did. Sorry about that; it wasn't very well thought out.

MG: Wiley would have asked "what are the odds that she'll let us in?"

DC: (Laughing) Oh, he said that a few times on the way over here. He still harps on it!

MG: I already know you rather well but let's get you introduced to everyone else. How 'bout we start with your full name and some bio info?

DC: My full name is Franklin Delano Carter. I've always been called Del. My dad, Mack, has always been a trucker. He and my mother, Marge, built up his one truck business into a successful trucking company. It was hard work and a struggle. They're still not on easy street. The economy has hammered them pretty badly but I'm hoping they can retire soon. They deserve it.

MG: You don't like talking about yourself, do you?  I've noticed before and now again you tend to go off and talk about someone else. Jess, your folks, your partner; that sort of thing.

DC: Hmmm.... I guess that's right. Yeah, maybe. Never thought about it before.

MG: Let's try to stick to you, OK?

DC: We can try.

MG: You had a rather meteoric rise on the Chicago Police Department; it was very impressive. In January Moon, however, you're very troubled about your career. You want to talk about that?

DC: (laughs) Well, actually no, but I will... I think everyone, if they're honest, has doubts about their choices in life. Probably the oddest thing about me is not that I went through a period of burn-out -- that just goes with the territory -- but that I ever became a cop. I never dreamed about being a cop as a kid but take my partner Tooch --  now there's a guy who knew he was going to be a cop from kindergarten. Me? I figured I'd drive a truck like my dad but my folks were hellbent on me going to college. They talked me into it in fact. I thank them for that but I don't think my dad figured he'd get a philosopher out of the deal! I think he was sort of hoping I'd major in business or become an accountant. They were barely adjusted to the idea that I had a degree in philosophy when I told them I'd been accepted into the Police Academy. One surprise after another I guess.

MG: So, how did you go from a degree in philosophy to becoming one of the most decorated police officers in Chicago's history? A degree in philosophy isn't the usual route.

DC: Probably not. But I had to eat. I considered law school but that didn't turn me on and I even considered the FBI. My senior year of college was sort of the Summer of My Discontent and I knew I had this great education, or so I was told, but I also knew I had no real skills and it was time to get real and get a job. I met a chick at a bar who was a cop and also in grad school to become a psychologist or something and I thought "hell, if she can do it, I can do it..." Honestly, it was just going to be a stepping stone. Get a job with benefits, maybe a schedule I could rotate around on so if I wanted to go back to school I had some wiggle room, and kill some time doing some interesting things. I wasn't interested in a desk job but I'm athletic, strong, never blink first, can handle a gun... so I figured if that little cutie who was a third my size could work the streets so could I. And, don't laugh, I'm serious, I actually thought I could make a contribution, be a real public servant. Seriously.

MG: Why would I laugh? I would hope all police feel that way.

DC: Some do, some don't. Anyway, I thought it would be a short term gig until I figured it out. I'm still trying to figure it out.  Plan B was playing sax in a jazz club but a guy has to know his limitations; that was never going to pay the bills for me.

MG: But you're very musical; you have an incredible voice. And you seem to have a remarkable memory for music and lyrics. Jess told me you literally know thousands of songs.

DC: Yeah, what's the TV show about knowing the lyrics? Maybe I should look into it, huh?

MG: What are some of  your favorite songs?

DC: Of course, you know I'm a whore for sax. Anything with alto sax just knocks me out. But I love rock & roll, country & western, Broadway show tunes. I'm pretty eclectic. It's hard to say what's a favorite but there's no doubt "Lady in Red" is up there at the top.

MG: Let's get back to your formal education. How did it help you as a cop?

DC: Philosophy teaches you to think outside the box; ask the questions no one else asks. I also went back to school and studied criminal justice. One degree is heavy in theory, the other in praxis. A yin/yang combination. It seems to work.

MG: Let's talk about love. You're very much in love with Jess Farrell. How has that changed you?

DC: Damn, it changes everything; absolutely everything. Men who say it doesn't are deluding themselves, at least if they really love. It makes you vulnerable. Suddenly you really know fear.

MG: You almost lost Jess.

DC: Yes. It still turns my blood to ice water thinking about it.

You know, bringing in the scum was just part of the job. Unless the SOB tried to kill me or my partner, I was happy to just throw his ass in jail and let the state take it from there. But I fell in love with Jess when I was on the United Nations Serial Killer case. My perspective changed after I was in love. Mommsen was probably never a threat to Jess; his victims were foreign tourists but nonetheless every victim became Jess in my eyes, every grieving lover was me. It's the first time in my life I understood paranoia and real fear.

MG: You could have killed Mommsen but you didn't. Do you still regret not taking the shot?

DC: Every day.

MG: But he's been put away for life.

DC: So they say. I won't relax until he's dead.

MG: And then there was Rae Hart. She was the real threat to Jess.

DC: Yeah, and I never saw it coming. It happened fast, it came out of the blue, my guard was down. She's at the heart of January Moon. The story opens with Mommsen in jail and Rae Hart out there in the wings. She was such a surprise. So unexpected. I never knew the likes of her. Don't think any of us did. She's one freaky scary bitch. I bumped into Mercer and Cole in the Federal Building in Chicago a few months ago. Remember them? They were the federal agents in charge of the raid on the cult. Apparently Rae Hart's a spooky legend with them too.

MG: How are you and Jess now?

DC: We're great. Living the dream.

MG: But the story continues...

DC: Yes, it continues in March Storm. You're writing it now so I guess we don't want to give too many spoilers.

MG: And Wolf? 

DC: Amazing as always. He's become a celebrity.

MG: Well, he's probably going to be the most famous dog in literature since either Lassie or White Fang.

DC: He's definitely more like White Fang. Don't you remember the ending in Jack London't great story when the grateful Weedon family name White Fang the "Blessed Wolf"?
MG: I never thought about it before but the you're absolutely right; there are parallels. The "Blessed Wolf." Amazing. Is Wolf going to end up living contentedly with a cute Border collie and siring lots of puppies like White Fang?

DC: So he hopes, right? We'll see.

MG: Would you mind if I told people they could ask you questions about January Moon or yourself? Would that be OK?

DC: Don't know why not. Sure. They can email you or leave questions here on your blog. If I can answer their questions, I will.

MG: Anything in particular you want to say before we end?

DC: Yeah, these are some delicious donuts. Mind if I grab another?

___________________________________________________

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Let's Do Some Interviews

I love interviewing people. As a historian I’ve interviewed war veterans, people who survived the Depression, Holocaust survivors and even the relatives of the famous WWII traitor, Axis Sally (Mildred Gillars). Now I enjoy interviewing authors, artists, folks in publishing, and just about anyone else who crosses my path! (Barbara Walters, move over sweetie!)
Now here's a dude I would really love to interview!
However, until now, I’ve never interviewed a character in a book. You may think it’s really weird to interview someone you believe is merely a figment of someone’s imagination but let me assure you it’s not weird at all: there’s no character in fiction that is truly fictive.
Ask Papa Hemingway: I think he went drinking, fishing or whorin' with all his marvelous characters!
Great characters live and breathe as surely as you and I. Authors give these wondrous individuals flesh and blood so that they can be introduced to you -- but I assure you they are wholly formed spirits before they ever enter an author’s heart and mind. As a matter of fact, I believe authors are like mediums or other paranormalists and they serve as mere conduits between these extraordinary spirits and you, the reader.

Through us they speak.

My next post will be an interview with Lt. Del Carter of the Chicago Police Department. Del is one of the main characters in “January Moon.” In fact, my entire series of books (well, soon to be a "series") has been named after him (the “Del Carter Calendar Series”). I'm also going to interview a few other personalities in this series and, if possible, may even branch out and interview the most important personalities in other books, as well. But for now I'm stickin' with the people I know and love best.

This is obviously Gary Sinise; he "kinda' sorta' almost" looks like Del Carter

And this of course is John Cusack; he also "kinda' sorta' almost"
looks like Del Carter...
I met Del when he and at least twenty other people pulled up in front of my house (in three huge motor homes) and pounded aggressively on the front door. It was 6 in the morning on a freezing January day and I’d only been up about ten minutes – the coffee was still brewing and it was still black as night outside. You can well imagine how startled I was by all the damn commotion at my front door. I was still in my nightgown, for God’s sakes.

I threw on the porch light and looked out the window and couldn’t believe my eyes. There was a crowd out there.

What the hell? Who were these people?

“Maureen, let us in,” one said. Another barked “Yeah, hurry up, we’re freezing our damn asses out here for Chri’sakes” (that person turned out to be Fred Wiley.) “Please, Maureen,” one of the women said, “I need to use the bathroom.”

Gypsies. I was being invaded by a tribe of gypsies. Who else? I’d never seen Jehovah’s Witnesses show up with half their church, especially pre-dawn!
Well they looked
better than this
but you get
the idea...

I started to explain I didn’t know them from Adam, it was 6 in the morning, I wasn’t dressed, and I didn’t want to be unfriendly but, well… go away! They could get hot coffee and use the washrooms down the road at the Mini Mart.

“No, look, you have to let us in…” several said more forcefully and when one of them started to open the front door (God! I was sure it had been double locked) I threw myself against the door and cried, “Stop it! Get the hell off my porch!” but the sheer weight and power of the guy pushing the door open (that proved to be Mack) overwhelmed me and in a panic I screamed “I’ll call the police!” and several men replied “We ARE the damn police…”

And then they just seemed to pour into the house!

One of the women who’d come into the house with the men snapped, “Oh stop it! You’re scaring her!” and another said “I’m an attorney and I can assure you will not be harmed” (she was a very impressive, statuesque looking black woman; she had a very take-charge attitude). Then another woman who reminded me of a very tired looking but still beautiful Susan Sarandon tried to soothe me; she put her arms around my astonished quivering body and said quite kindly “Maureen, honey, I told them this wasn’t the way to introduce ourselves but, I swear, no one has any manners any more…” (I think that was Louise, if memory serves) and then this horrible monster of a woman (she was bigger than most of the men and had a face that reminded me of a Rottweiler) pushed people aside and said something snide but one of the cops (or maybe it was one of the FBI agents, I forget) barked at her to sit down and shut up. The next thing I knew Del and a beautiful young woman he introduced as his fiancé, Jess, were pouring everyone coffee while Louise was dispensing jumbo slices of Sara Lee coffeecake that she hauled out of at least three shopping bags she brought with her (it soon became apparent she could feed an Army on 5 minutes' notice). In the meantime, several brawny guys struggled to jockey a wheelchair with a robust-appearing middle-aged man in it through the front doorway and into the living room. Jess called him "Dad" and he graciously introduced himself to me as Frank Farrell and quickly explained he'd once been a Chicago "copper" but took a bullet and that's how he ended up in the chair. He looked around the house and said rather generously "nice place you got here" and wheeled himself over near the fireplace where one of the largest dogs I have ever seen had already taken up residence close to the warmth of the fire. My own never-before-intimidated German shepherd stared at this other hound in mute and horrified silence -- and I understood the feeling.

It took almost 40 minutes for the motor homes to empty out and for everyone to get their coffee, accept a slice of coffee cake, make appropriate small talk, and find comfortable seats in the living room. They pulled chairs in from the kitchen and dining room and even grabbed my desk chair in my office and after allowing me a few minutes to change into some sweats, brush my teeth and throw some water on my face… and pour some Jameson’s into my coffee (which a few of them eagerly accepted and poured into their own cups too) I settled down and, not much knowing how to begin just asked “what the hell’s going on?” (I couldn’t think of any better entrée, I’m sorry. It’s my Chicago-style bluntness.)

I mean, honest to God, what the hell else could I say? 
Over the next four months those astonishing people came and went every day of the week, at all hours, and made themselves at home... they each, in his or her own way, had a story to tell about how their individual stories were intricately woven together into the most remarkable tale – a tale they had chosen me to memorialize. A tale they wanted titled “January Moon.”

They laughed and cried and argued among themselves and not everyone shared the exact same memory of the same event but, they explained to me, it was my job to sort it all out, work out the inconsistencies, and produce a cohesive story that left nothing out or unexplained. They had chosen me, they explained, because I’m a historian. They were of the opinion that only a person trained in history could process such a detailed story and make sense of it all. I suggested that a journalist should be able to do the same but this didn’t fly.

“I don’t like journalists,” Wiley stated bluntly. “I never read a damn story about a cop or perp in any paper anywhere that ever came near the truth.”

This is one of my favorite actors, Pat "Muse" Watson
The man is AMAZING
I told Wiley I think he looks like just like Pat but Wiley's difficult sometimes
(you'll see) and he said "that's bull..." but
Eliot and Jess agree with me
I'm not sure what Pat would think, maybe one day I'll ask him
That very impressive black women I already mentioned, who introduced herself as Eliot Ness, reminded Wiley “You always liked Walter Cronkite and Bill Moyers, honey” to which he replied “Well, Cronkite’s dead and I think Moyers retired and everyone else works for Murdock and with that I rest my case, babe.” I was immediately struck by how they clicked; it was obvious they were a pair. She rolled her eyes as if to say, "I can't take this man anywhere" and he winked at me as if to say "Ain't she somethin'?"

I know you think this is Queen Latifah... and it is;
but if her hair was shorter and had a few whisps of gorgeous silver gray
woven throughout, well I swear she'd be a dead ringer for the stunning Eliot Ness
So, with that little ice breaker we all settled down and began our remarkable collaboration.

These fascinating people honored me with their candid honesty and trust; to a person, they all had a remarkable ability to confront the truths and lies, graces and sins, of their own lives. In each of these people I found a courage and insight into life that I had not otherwise known – about them, as well as about myself.

I certainly tried my best to honor their trust and I’m very happy they were pleased with the outcome. They so liked how I helped them write “January Moon” that we’ve agreed many of us would work together again. They assured me “January Moon” was just the beginning of their story and, true to their word, we are now collaborating on “March Storm” – a continuation of the saga begun in “January Moon.”

Over the course of the next few posts, I’ll share with you interviews with a few of the main characters in “January Moon” and “March Storm.” I think you’re going to really like these people. I would find it rather remarkable if you don’t. In fact, my guess is you’re going to want to read “January Moon” immediately so you can begin to participate in these interviews and ask these characters your own questions. They have assured me they would welcome hearing from you.

And BTW: if any of you doubt the veracity of how these people showed up at my home on that frigid January morning – well shame on you! – and double damn shame on you if you fancy yourself a writer and don’t believe every word I’ve written here!

Sunday, July 17, 2011

SAMPLE SUNDAY

The following is Chapter Two in January Moon.

Enjoy!! 
Two

Urbana police responded to an emergency call from an hysterical female about blood in the ladies washroom over at the Gas City near I-57.

“Blood is everywhere!” she yelled, “All over the place!”

Cops found a pair of blood soaked underpants and two bloodied bath towels and the washroom floor, toilet and sink were smeared with bloody hand prints. They also retrieved a pink backpack with clean underwear and knee socks, a tube of Neosporin, a mirror and tweezers, and a box of straws – but no ID.

They quickly theorized a baby might have been born in the john and other reasonable possibilities included a miscarriage or botched abortion. The theories gained credence when security cameras confirmed the last female to use the john was a young girl who left the premises under unusual circumstances.

Ms. Waynelle Penney, the Gas City night employee who placed the 911 call, described a white female, twelve to fourteen, fifteen tops, who was forcefully dragged from the premises.

When Ms. Penney admitted the kid didn’t scream, ask for help, or fight the big trucker who snatched her, the cops figured she probably knew the guy.

Waynelle thought the girl was Amish because she wore an old-fashioned black dress. She conceded, however, she didn’t see her wearing the traditional white cap most Amish women wore. Waynelle explained she was “something of an expert on the Amish” because she had a cousin who lived near Arcola and “there’s lots of them there.”

The cop taking her statement said he didn’t know much about the Amish but “never heard of no Amish kid having a baby in a gas station john.”

Waynelle weighed his comment carefully. “I never looked at it that way,” she admitted.

According to Ms. Penney, the kid was in the john about two hours and then bought chocolate milk and Ding Dongs. Waynelle overheard her trying to hitch a ride to Wisconsin with three local guys who were “bad news” when all of a sudden “this big trucker guy just kinda’ come right outta’ nowhere.” She clarified “nowhere” as being over in the area near the Wiener Ferris Wheel and said “and then damn if he don’t grab her little fanny and haul her outta’ here.”

Urbana was expecting a major winter storm blowing down from up north so police were at full court press to find a baby, if in fact there was one. Snow was already falling as they searched the dumpsters, garbage cans, and empty boxes behind the premises and a canine team was brought in to search a grassy knoll behind the gas station.

A state trooper pulled into the Gas City for his usual coffee and a piss and saw local cops up to their necks in something big. He called his district’s headquarters to see what he could learn to help the local cops and that’s how Urbana police learned a Jane Doe was found in a truck more than a hundred miles north, near Matteson, way up in Cook County just south of Chicago.

Obviously, state and local police needed to know if Jane was the same kid who left the bloody mess in the john. Urbana police downloaded security pictures from multiple video cameras covering the Gas City premises and sent them to the state police; they expected an answer shortly.

**

Three Illinois State Police cars responded to Mack’s call and troopers found him understandably agitated but fully cooperative. He was sober, coherent and articulate and his CDL, registration and title, as well as insurance and truck log were in order. They let Mack cool his heels in the rear of one of their cars while they inspected his truck.

Jane Doe was found in the passenger seat of the truck, secured in place by a seat belt and sitting upright in a small puddle of her own blood. A blanket was tucked around her. One of her coat pockets contained a few coins, a $5 bill, and a dirty Ace bandage, the type used to wrap a sprained ankle or wrist. The other held a 200-count bottle of Ibuprofen; only four pills remained. Just as in Urbana, the troopers further north found no ID.

An initial inspection of the truck and body failed to show evidence of a shooting or stabbing and Ms. Doe didn’t appear to have died from strangulation. There was no evidence of blood on Mack, his clothes, or anywhere in the truck other than the immediate space where the body was found. Troopers found no weapons, drugs, or anything other than what was legitimately on Mack’s manifest or what personally belonged to him.

The weather was worsening so dispatch instructed troopers to take Mack to the nearest municipal police department which happened to be over in Matteson, rather than to district headquarters in Des Plaines, which was a good poke down the road.

“Anyway, Wiley’s already there,” the dispatcher said, “we’ll call and tell him you’re coming in.”

The troopers wondered why Wiley was in Matteson and one of them might have asked if Mack didn’t interrupt. Mack asked if he could call his wife to tell her where they were taking him and they agreed.

**

Fred Wiley was a tough talking, chain smoking, ’Nam-era ex-Marine who’d been with the Illinois State Police almost four decades. He could have pensioned out ten years earlier but hoped to die on the job because the idea of retirement was one of the few things that terrified him. His ruggedly handsome leathery face, square jaw, steel blue eyes, old fashioned crew cut and whiskey voice made him look like a stereotypical grunt-eating, fire spitting by-the-book USMC Drill Instructor which is exactly the image he wanted to project.

Wiley was killing time, waiting for the troopers to bring Mack Carter into Matteson, when he decided to ride his partner about his ridiculously pompous name.

“What are you, a pope or something? What the hell kind of name is Aloysius anyway? And Benedict; Jesus: Aloysius Benedict? Don’t know if I should puke or genuflect.”

Benedict tried to explain his friends called him Aloe. “You know, like the aloe plant. The one for burns.”

“Christ, say it ain’t so. Aloe? Like A-hole? You actually let people call you Aloe? What, ’cuz you burn my ass?”

Benedict didn’t know what the problem was or why Wiley insisted on ragging his sorry ass but several bored cops enjoyed the exchange immensely. Everyone knew Wiley was as big of a hoot as he could be horse’s ass but if you weren’t the poor bastard withering under one of his verbal assaults it was damn good fun to be an observer.

“OK, listen up,” Wiley snapped, “I’m calling you Eggs. From now on, you’re Eggs.”

“Eggs? Why eggs? I don’t get it.” Benedict’s cluelessness was possibly even funnier than Wiley. “I don’t even like eggs,” Benedict whined, “and I’m allergic to egg products.”

Wiley threw his hands up in disgust. “You believe this guy? He’s allergic.”

“Wha… what am I missing about this? You don’t think allergic is serious?”

One of the Matteson cops felt compelled to come to his aid. “Eggs Benedict, you get it now?”

Benedict didn’t get anything. His deer-in-the-headlights look said it all.

Wiley snarled, “Hey maybe we should call him Allergic, whaddya’ think?”

One of the other cops tried another tack. “Listen up Aloe, it’s like this man: Aloe just don’t work, you understand? A cop can’t have no partner people call Aloe. It ain’t possible.”

A third cop added, “Hey Aloe, Wiley don’t mean nothing by it. He gives almost everyone a nickname, especially if he likes ’em.”

It was all too much for Wiley and he exploded.

“Like him? You think I like this poor bastard? Hell, I don’t like him. This isn’t love, you assholes. It’s a damn mercy mission.”

**

It was 6:30 AM when Wiley and Eggs finally walked into the small drab interview room where Mack was held. Eggs was brooding about the meaning of his new name and sat sullenly beside Wiley while he interviewed Mack.

Mack explained how he found the girl at the Gas City down in Urbana, thought she was afraid someone was following her, and seemed willing to hitch a ride with three guys Mack described as “dangerous creeps.” Mack told Wiley and Eggs he only realized how sick she was after he got her into his truck and then he called his wife to see what Marge thought he should do next.

He also tried very hard to tell Wiley everything the girl said to him and the men agreed her words made little sense, most likely because of her delirium. However, she probably had a grandmother since she repeatedly called Carter “Gram.” Wiley made a number of notes, including “grandmother?” and “poss. drug use?” which he circled for emphasis. He figured there was a chance the kid was hopped up on something that made her loony.

Mack also explained he was an independent trucker driving a refrigerated rig and he hauled one kind of shit south and was hauling another kind on the flip-flop north when he stopped in Urbana to take a leak, stretch his legs, and get some fresh Joe. Then a goddamn house fell on him. It was one of the most godawful things that ever happened to him.

He shook his head in genuine puzzlement. “God Almighty,” he asked Wiley, “why do you suppose that kid died?”

Wiley couldn’t say. He explained the body was on its way to the Cook County Medical Examiner’s Office. Unfortunately, the place was usually backlogged and even if they were lucky it could take days to get a preliminary post-mortem report and much longer if they weren’t.

Wiley gave Mack a cup of strong coffee. He looked like he could use something stronger but Wiley didn’t offer it.

Wiley saw Mack’s simple gold wedding ring and asked how long he’d been married. Mack said “forty years this June” and Wiley whistled to show he was impressed.

Wiley knew marriage was no guarantor of anything, let alone an inability to murder, but when he formed his opinions about people he liked to say he “added up all the little things.” If it was true the man was married to the same babe for forty years then it told Wiley several things: first, the man hadn’t murdered at least one woman and, second, he was probably a damn saint.

Wiley was married and divorced four times and figured most wives at one time or another deserved killing. He said he never had a wife who didn’t give him at least one good reason to murder her. In fact, he joked, he considered his failure to murder at least two of his wives to be his two greatest achievements.

“Unfortunately,” he’d deadpan, “no one hands out medals for not killing wives.”

A clerk knocked on the door, entered, and handed Wiley security camera pictures from the Gas City. They showed Jane Doe walked in the door three hours before Mack drove onto the premises. The cameras caught her speaking to the three guys Mack described as creeps, as well as Mack propelling her out the door to his rig. The hostile exchange between Mack and one of the creeps in the parking lot was also captured on video.

Mack also looked at the pictures and gave a statement that she was definitely the same girl he picked up in Urbana who died in his truck.

There was another knock on the door and Wiley barked an order to come in. A trooper handed him two reports; one said Carter was clean as a whistle, which came as no surprise to Wiley, and the other indicated there were no recent Amber Alerts or other reports about missing girls fitting Jane Doe’s description. Wiley found that vaguely disconcerting; he always wondered how people could lose their kids and not know it.

Wiley studied Mack carefully and made up his mind. Mack’s story checked out and the quicker he could wrap it up with Carter the quicker he could get on with the real business of investigating Jane Doe’s death.

As far as he was concerned, Mack Carter could go home.

Wiley and Eggs left the room and Wiley asked the desk clerk to get Carter more coffee and let him go to the can. Eggs could see Wiley was done with Mack but didn’t grasp why.

“So, you’re just gonna’ let him walk out the door? That’s it? That’s our investigation?”

“No. I’m going to call Eliot Ness and discuss it with her and then I’m gonna’ let him walk out the door.”

**

Wiley nicknamed Ms. Elnora Calista Ness “Eliot” the day he met her and it stuck. Assistant State’s Attorney Ness was that rare breed of attorney content to spend an entire career as a prosecutor. At one time when the office had very few minority lawyers, not to mention even fewer female ones, it was rumored her color and sex made her a double token. Those rumors died quickly as Eliot chalked up an impressive prosecutorial record.

Eliot was brilliant, aggressive, and strikingly beautiful. She currently looked as stunning in short cropped silver streaked hair as she did when she showed up right out of law school. Neither three kids nor middle age screwed up her fine figure or legendary energy. She liked to wear bright colors, short skirts, sexy shoes and insanely large earrings and pulled it off with a panache that kept her from looking cheap.

Eliot’s first criminal prosecution was Wiley’s first homicide case. He didn’t know shit about being a credible professional witness and she knew even less about being an aggressive, sharp prosecutor. Their combined inexperience gave the case to the defense and the perp walked but he showed up later, as most perps will, after he kidnapped, tortured, and murdered another little boy.

Wiley and Eliot believed it was their incompetence that gave the bastard a second chance to kill. The shared pain of that first trial loss would never go away but it became the catalyst that transformed them into a strong prosecutorial team and they successfully nailed him the second time around.

The day they got his evil ass convicted was also the first night they slept together. That night turned into three more days and nights holed up in Eliot’s tiny apartment in some dump of a building in some shit hole part of the city not far from the courthouse. They periodically came up for air long enough to order pizzas and Chinese and then they went down like submarines again.

It was a torrid, wonderful affair but Eliot always told Wiley it couldn’t last. He assured her it could and would and he meant it with all his heart. She knew differently.

She insisted the affair be kept a secret, something that really pissed him off.

“Why is this necessary?” he’d storm. He said “I want to go out to dinner with you and my friends” or “I want you to meet my family” and badgered her with questions like “why won’t you introduce me to your family or friends?” But she never talked about her family and she claimed she hadn’t been in Chicago long enough to make many close friends so he had to be content with bringing her into his world.

Then one night at the Parthenon in Greek Town Wiley asked her to become his wife. It was just after waiters ignited their order of saganaki and the entire restaurant erupted with joyous shouts of “Oooopa!” Wiley waited for the luscious cheese to cool and poured her another glass of Greek wine. Then he raised a toast to the “Most beautiful, brilliant, and sexy woman in the world, the woman I love and want to marry,” and she froze. She refused to even look at the stunning 2-carat emerald cut diamond he had carefully chosen.

Wiley was stunned when she explained marriage was not an option. “Blacks should marry blacks and whites should marry whites.”

“What are you, nuts?” he fumed. “We’ve been humping the eyes out of each other for two goddamn years and I love you to death. I don’t want to live without you. We can screw but we can’t marry? Where’s the logic in that?”

Eliot was adamant: she wasn’t going to marry a white man. The argument went on for days.

“But this is 1978 for God’s sakes, and this is Illinois,” he argued. “Damnit, El, this is ridiculous.” He accused her of being a bigot in her own convoluted way.

“So, it’s OK to screw me,” he heard himself ask, “but not marry me? Did you lie to me when you told me you loved me?”

No, she loved him very much but she would not marry him.

Finally, under his relentless pressure, she explained she wasn’t strong enough to be a trail blazer.

“I’ve already gone further than I ever dreamed possible and I don’t want the strain of a mixed-race marriage for the rest of my life or the stress it’ll put on my kids.”

Wiley was stupefied. “That’s crazy,” he said, “please, listen to me baby. We can make this work. There are neighborhoods we can live in. Screw those assholes who don’t like us.”

He had a house in mind in a great neighborhood in Evanston, close to Northwestern University. It was a safe and beautiful town for an interracial couple. Barring that, if she didn’t want to leave the city, there were several other excellent neighborhoods, including Hyde Park, Lincoln Park, and East Rogers Park, all places anchored by world class universities that gave haven to liberally minded folks. Wiley did his homework.

Eliot was emphatic. “Don’t ask me to explain it any more than I already have. It’s over.”

She swooped down on Truman White, marrying him with lightning speed in a historically important black Methodist church on the south side of Chicago less than five weeks later. Tru was an easy going, salt-of-the-earth, church-going black man who wanted nothing more radical than a steady job teaching high school and a few kids of his own. Eliot was the most extraordinary, beautiful, and talented woman he ever met and he adored her. They enjoyed a stable marriage and were the proud parents of three kids but after a lifetime sharing the same bed with Truman, it was still Wiley who came to Eliot in all of her most vivid sexual dreams.

She could live with that; in fact, it was exactly how she wanted it: Tru in her house and Wiley in her head.

“You’ll get over me,” she assured him but it wasn’t true. No matter how many other women agreed to marry him, the truth was the only woman Wiley really wanted at his side declined the offer.

He wished he’d been able to hate her for rejecting him but that was impossible: Fred Wiley knew he was still very much in love with Eliot Ness.

**

Wiley returned his thoughts to Carter. He wasn’t going to let Mack walk until he spoke to an ASA and he intended the ASA to be Eliot. He didn’t want to think too much about why his heart still skipped a beat or why he felt like a chump just thinking about her. He’d go with the fact she was the best ASA in the county and he was the best dick in the state and it was OK for him to run important issues past her. They had a long history turning his busts into successful prosecutions and if that was the only way he could have Eliot in his life he’d rather take it than leave it.

He never knew what she thought about their working relationship and he always hunted for the faintest glimmer of regret on her part, the merest suggestion that she still cared deeply but those hints and suggestions never came. Her only deliberate effort to maintain social contact with him outside of work was an odd faithfulness about sending an annual Christmas card, something she’d done every holiday since they broke up. She also always remembered to include whatever his wife’s name was at the time, a thoughtful gesture that both amused and puzzled him. He kept every single card, including all the pictures of her kids as they grew up over the years. Their names were branded into his memory: Kenny, Adele and Denise.

Pictures of Eliot and her husband Tru were never included.

**

Wiley looked at his watch; it was still too early to call Eliot. He almost always called her on her cell but tried to respect sensible business hours unless it was a dire emergency.

He didn’t consider Mack Carter a dire emergency. Be cool, he told himself; relax.

Wiley told Eggs to run out and bring back breakfast. Eggs groused that it was still snowing heavily.

“So what? You don’t eat in winter or something? Cops don’t fight crime in bad weather? You think I should starve ’cuz it’s snowing?”

Eggs wisely bit his tongue and grabbed his parka.

“What do you want?”

“I don’t care, just make sure it’s pancakes, three eggs, sausage, make it links, hash browns, Greek toast and get me a large OJ.”

He tossed Eggs a double saw-buck, adding “Ask that guy Carter if he’s hungry. Tell him I’m buying.”

He didn’t offer to buy anything for Eggs.

_____________________________________________________________________

Note from Maureen: I know it appears that I've been slackin' off all week since I haven't posted anything since last Monday. Truthfully, I've been on a mini-vacation... I didn't plan it though (if I had I would have told you) but it's sort of evolved like this: I've been waking up every morning lately and saying "screw it; I'm going to do nothing but chill today...."

Honestly, I think it began when I was hit with Maximum Blog Burnout because I'm less than happy with Google (as already noted). I'm thinking about moving my blog to Word Press but I'm just too lazy to bother with that now...

In any event, as I said, almost every day this week I woke and said "screw it..." but you know what? It feels pretty damn good so, obviously, it was time.

I've taken a few short road trips, tackled a few gardening projects, wrote a review about an art exhibit for my local paper, but mainly have been greatly absorbed in thoughts about March Storm, the sequel to January Moon. I'm not at an impasse and I don't have writer's block; I'm just letting the Muse speak and I'm trying to listen. March Storm is already written in my head and much is already typed and I love it; this is just a break in the action so that I can return to the mss fresh and ready to hit it out of the park!

Enjoy your Sunday!! 

Beats the hell out of ordinary sunbathing, doesn't it?


Sunday, June 26, 2011

Another Sample Sunday

JANUARY MOON

Excerpt from Chapter Nine

There was nothing Tommy Lee Lattimore enjoyed more than masturbating while watching a woman on the toilet. Obviously, that wasn’t always easy to do. But his apartment met his needs nicely because its bathroom shared an inner wall with the bathroom in the apartment next door. The arrangement was all the more wonderful because his neighbor was a very pretty woman. He tried to make her acquaintance several times but she rebuffed his efforts. It didn’t matter; his peepholes made up for it.

Tommy Lee liked the routine he established for himself in Chicago. He found a job at a nearby video store and the perks were primo. He could take home all the pornography he wanted for free and sometimes he was able to steal microwave popcorn and Kit Kats. The apartment was actually far nicer than he could afford but he didn’t worry about money. His uncle Nelson covered most of his expenses so all Tommy Lee had to do was make a little pocket change and provide a nice place to stay for the occasional missionary his uncle’s church sent to Chicago. 

“It’s important that you have a job, son,” his uncle said. “Idle hands are the devil’s workshop.”

His uncle raised Tommy Lee since his lousy whore of a niece, Tommy Lee’s seventeen year old mother, dropped him off on Nelson on her way to Vegas twenty years earlier. The Reverend Nelson B. Wilbur was a widower and lived alone on 1600 acres in Montana just outside of Billings.

“You’re a man of God,” Roberta Ann said, “how come you can’t help us? It’ll just be ’til Ricky and me get on our feet in Vegas. Then we’ll come for the kid. And anyway, you ain’t got no kids and all this property is just perfect for little boys. He’ll even be able to help you some. Little kids can do a lot more than you think, you know.”

And so she deposited Tommy Lee on her uncle’s ranch and never returned.

Tommy Lee was only three and his uncle Nelson was still a relatively young man at thirty-six. Nelson actually became fond of the boy although it soon became obvious he was about as smart as a bag of hammers. Nelson never held it against him.

Nelson inherited his spread but never did any serious ranching. His passion was preaching and politics and in his mind they were one and the same. Like his daddy before him he studied at a Southern Baptist Bible College and returned to Montana to minister to the two hundred families between Otter Creek and Buffalo Falls which was halfway between Billings and Smokey Forge. Everyone in the area called him Pastor Nelson and whenever possible they attended his Arm of God Bible Church which was situated on the main road just north of his property. It was a pretty little church and its congregation and pastor were very determined to preserve its fundamentalist bent which, everyone fervently believed, was exactly why the Constitution of the United State was written.

Nelson gravitated to the wonders of the internet; he immediately understood it was the most powerful communication tool in history. It motivated him to sell off 1500 prime acres and his small herd of cattle to his nearest neighbor. Nelson invested his considerable profits wisely. He also purchased the most powerful computer available and signed a contract with a satellite company specializing in internet service to rural areas.

Like all libraries of learning, cyberspace provides a world of brilliant ideas and intellectual opportunities and the Reverend Nelson B. Wilbur proved he was no different from other mortals when he chose to narrowly seek out only those ideas most compatible with his own religious beliefs and world views. The internet expanded on and reinforced his already flawed thinking as he hopped from one fulminating right wing web site to another. In due time, he was as knowledgeable about white supremacist, neo-Nazi, skinhead, KKK, and other lunatic fringe hate groups as the Southern Poverty Law Center, the ACLU, and the F.B.I. combined.

The difference was, however, that Pastor Nelson didn’t want to monitor these groups to control or prosecute them. He wanted to study them and take from each the best of what he believed they had to offer. His intention was to remake those ideas into his own ideology, his own true faith.

The Arm of God Bible Church served the pastoral needs of the community but didn’t effectively speak to the wider political needs of the entire United States which Nelson, of course, believed he fully understood. He met significant resistance when he began to preach to his congregation that the Arm of God Bible Church was called by God to fight the battle that would return America to its white Christian roots during The End Times.

Merwyn Bermer at the feed store put it best when he said “Your sermons, Nelson, are, well I don’t know any other way to put it so I’ll just spit it out, kinda’ scary to some of the folks around here. All this talk about the New World Order, the Antichrist, and the need to overthrow the godless, socialist U.S. government is just too radical for church talk. Stuff like that don’t belong in the pulpit.”

Nelson also heard grumblings from others folks. Some started speaking up after Sunday service and others took him aside at the barber shop and grocery store. But when Howard J. Ridley, president and sole owner of the Otter Creek State Bank spoke to Nelson he knew he had to listen. Ridley was a right wing extremist himself and a man to reckon with and Ridley thought Nelson was “way over the top.”

“Nelson,” he said, “your sermons are sounding downright loony. You tone them down a bit, ya’ hear? You’re scaring the hell out of people.”

Ridley added, “Hell man, you’re going to get the damn government snoopin’ up our asses around here. You understand?”

Nelson understood and wisely chose to listen to the voices of his community. He returned to preaching simple Bible lessons and his friends and congregants relaxed and were grateful.

Bermer explained it this way: “A man’s entitled to get a little crazy so long as he don’t stay that way.”

The locals agreed and took satisfaction in knowing they were able to help Pastor Nelson get his head screwed on straight.

Nelson decided to express his virulent views under cover of the internet, in the infinite and unregulated world of cyberspace. He created an extension of the Arm of God Bible Church, a very special ministry called the Fist of God, or F.O.G. Right from the beginning, Nelson conceived of Fist of God as a sophisticated cyber church. He established a PayPal account to accept donations which he called “tithes.” He created F.O.G.’s website himself which was crude but effective; it contained 287 pages of his own writings, most of which were convoluted screeds against blacks, Hispanics, Jews, Moslems, Catholics (especially Jesuits), immigrants of all kinds, labor unions, liberalism, feminism, socialism, occultism, homosexuality, abortion, as well as the U.N., Illuminati, Masons, Rockefellers, Bilderberg Group, and the Mark of the Beast. He had a particular hair up his ass for Jim Harte and his American Jerusalem All Faith Church whom he pegged as a False Prophet, the Antichrist, and the leader of a group of intergalactic travelers called the Sons of Zod.

Nelson wasn’t sure what to expect but after F.O.G. received $25,000 in tithes in its first three weeks he realized he hit a nerve deep inside America. Naturally, he understood it to mean only one thing: that God had chosen him to save America from itself.

One of the first true believers to accept Nelson’s call to action to save America was Anders Matheson, a twenty-six year old ex-Army sharpshooter. Anders was raised by parents who were proud and active members of a white supremacist hate group known as the American Christian Resistance Effort or ACRE. ACRE was a hybrid combination of the KKK and the White Aryan Resistance, or WAR as it was called, but it was too tame for Matheson. Anders was fed up with talk; he wanted to belong to a group that understood actions speak louder than words. F.O.G. seemed to meet that need.

When Anders arrived at Tommy Lee Lattimore’s 2nd floor apartment in Wrigleyville just before midnight that miserably cold night in mid-December he didn’t need to say “Your uncle sent me” or anything else. Anders wasn’t the first F.O.G. missionary Tommy Lee’s Uncle Nelson sent to Chicago and he knew the drill.

Providing a place to stay for his uncle’s missionaries was the main reason Tommy Lee was in Chicago but if he could have a little fun while doing it, Tommy Lee didn’t mind.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Facebook: My View from the Edge

I was on Facebook several years and, to be honest, I didn’t like it. OK, maybe I didn’t “get it” and that was the problem but I really thought it was lame. Well, it was lame – at least for me and I understand that now. For the other people it was wonderful and a lot of fun and also obviously speaking to whatever their needs were at the time but for me it wasn’t a good fit.

See, they were into things I had no interest in, stuff that left me cold, things that did not speak to my heart.

There was nothing inherently wrong or even weird about what those folks were doing on Facebook; for the most part they were playing games and yakking it up about their families and friends and what they planned for the weekend. It was harmless and pleasant but it just wasn’t me (not that I’m not harmless and pleasant exactly; hmmm…. maybe I should rephrase that… oh the hell with it, this is a blog, not my literary opus -- deal with it). 
Ah! Nothin' like a big meaty bone!

I was talked into trying Facebook again about ten months ago and rather grudgingly I did, but this time I went in with an entirely different attitude. I was looking for meat. Stuff I could sink my teeth into, bones I could suck the marrow out of, grizzle I could masticate to death. In short: substance, not fluff.

I wasn’t particularly looking for friends, new or long-lost, and I wasn’t particularly looking for acquaintances. I really wanted to use Facebook to help me follow the news -- track and monitor the great political divide in this country. Oh, I could find the news by myself; that wasn’t my problem.  I wanted to follow opinions about the news and possibly share in those discussions.

I’ve never bought what the right wing conservatives in the country are selling so it was a natural fit for me to align with groups and individuals sharing news links and opinions from a liberal left perspective. They’re not always 100% on the money but at least they don’t give me hives. The other side does.
What is it about some people that gives me the hives?
I need to watch the right wing, of course, because it’s what they’re doing that I think warrants watching but reading about it through the filter of left leaning analyses buffers it for me. I still get infuriated but the sense that I’m not alone mitigates against my despair.

Then I branched out and began to meet other writers, both of fiction and not, and also made a deliberate attempt to find people I could admire and learn from and this opened up even more doors. Before I’d friend request someone or accept their request I’d study their Info page on Facebook and/or their Wall and if we weren’t somehow compatible I’d move on. This could be a little problematic in cases where people block this information from people who aren’t yet their friends but I’d then consider who their other friends were; if we shared many in common I felt our relationship would work.

Today I really believe that I’ve found 1000 of the most absolutely fantastic human beings in the world on Facebook. How can you be friends with over 1000 people? I know it sounds absurd but you know what? You can. We all don’t communicate all the time about everything and some of us are far more connected than others but I have to tell you as a group I think those 1000-plus people could move mountains.

I know they’ve often moved me in the most unimaginable ways.



Facebook represents many things about where I am in life right now. For example, I’m not a gamer – in all the ways that is meant. I’ve never been a big game board or card player. I like chess but haven’t played it in years and given the chance to play it again I’d rather just sit and talk to my chess opponent.  If talk is not an option, then just give me a book or magazine.

See what I mean?

If you want to discuss politics I’m all in – but I don’t want to listen to the politics of hate and fear. Then I’m out. If you want to talk about your family and I already like you (because we don’t play games and we share a similar world view), then I’m all in. But you have to get to that point with me because I want reciprocity and if I don’t like you then there’s not much I’m going to share with you about my personal life and family (read that as: I will share nothing at all).

I don’t think I need to say I’m into kink or bungee jumping and I’m not looking for anyone to save me for the Lord on Facebook (and I resent anyone who tries).

I know that it’s absolutely mandatory that authors create a sophisticated social networking world; I’ve heard the mantra and I know how it works and when I waded into the Facebook waters this was certainly on my mind but it wasn’t at the top of my mind and that’s the truth. I thought that some day it could very well be a tool to promote myself as an author and my books but I wanted to become familiar with Facebook first and I definitely wanted a different way to collect and filter news and possibly connect with some like-minded people.

Let me explain something about my new life as a fiction writer. Writing fiction is very new to me. I mean really, really new – at least as an adult. I’ve been dreaming up stories since I could just about walk and that’s no joke… well, more truthfully, I was spinning tales before I could write them down but it worked out because I had the luxury of owning my very own scribe. His name was Roo and he was a man of color (ratty brown furry color to be exact – the kind that would cover the body of a stuffed kangaroo).

My Roo!

Family lore records I was about 2.5 years old when I started dictating my stories to Roo. My father was an attorney and my mother a legal secretary and sometimes she’d step in and help him (as when his secretary was on vacation). I was fascinated with my mother’s ability to take shorthand as she listened to my father. I mimicked this and began dictating to my beloved Roo. The thing was, as my astonished folks soon realized, I really was dictating a story, not just kiddy gibberish. My mother captured some of those stories but sadly they are now lost to me; I have no idea where they ended up although I know she kept them on a steno pad for years and years. She kept this pad with many of the things she cherished under the table pads in the 2nd drawer of the dining room buffet (makes sense, right?). Roo is also no more. He fell apart in the washing machine (I still mourn his loss). 
Does this professor look like a guy who would appreciate
a good yarn? Not likely.
If you think so, just try explaining
how the boys at the frat party ate your thesis.

Life took me on various other trajectories and I ended up (among other things) as a historian. As you may well guess, one does not boast about an ability to draft good fiction while simultaneously trying to earn bona fides as a credible historian. At least this is how it was at the university I attended. The History Department at my alma mater frowns on flights of fancy and other inventions and I’m sure you can appreciate why (unless of course you’re Michelle Bachmann, Sarah Palin or Glenn Beck but let’s not go there now…).




(This man is NOT a historian.)




But I digress... so, anyway, yesterday an aspiring young author contacted me and asked how I used Facebook to promote myself as an author. The truth is, my friend, I don’t.

But what I think I’ve done – what I hope I’ve done – is promote myself as a person.

I look serious here don't I?
Maybe even find myself as a person.

I have not been able to separate myself as the historian and political commentarian (is that a word?) from the newer persona of the author of January Moon, the first book in the Del Carter Calendar Series. Many people would advise me that this is a mistake.

It may well be – for them; I think it’s not a mistake for me.

I know I could create a writer’s reader fan page on Facebook and I did begin to create a page for January Moon but haven’t completed it. My heart’s just not there; it’s really not. I don’t want to talk about my writing all the time or even my beloved books and I know that’s a problem, especially for an indie who needs to constantly hustle and promote.

How can I explain this? Sure, I use my Facebook Wall to promote this blog and other articles I write elsewhere (such as The Pragmatic Progressive Forum & Opednews) and I also discuss January Moon and my reviews and my upcoming books as well. The fact is, however, I love discussing history and politics and I love following the news and it’s very important for me to watch trends and try to understand the many conflicting currents that dance over the American landscape.

I think that will always be how I use Facebook and doing so is necessary for me as a writer of fiction because my fiction is heavily embedded with observations and critiques about the many hot-button issues permeating society. In January Moon I wrote about FGM and domestic terrorism, cults and religious extremism, racism and madness, as well as families and love and loss. In March Storm I’m carrying over many of those themes and also wandering into areas about animal abuse, human trafficking, gay rights, and even Mother Nature and climate change.

When I send out a request to my Facebook friends to keep their eyes open for news about dog fighting or sex trafficking or gay bashing or even alpaca farming, I will receive fantastic news items from all over the country, even the world, in hours.

In that way my Facebook friends contribute to my writing in a remarkable way and invest their time in my efforts and become a part of the process. I’ve been floating some cover designs for March Storm on my Facebook page and that’s been fun and created some helpful feedback. I cherish this connection and I suspect many of them do as well.

But the fiction is a sidebar to the larger picture which, and I think we’re getting back to that young author’s question, is all about defining me as a person and the joys of building relationships with others. There is absolutely no way I could interact with so many people on a daily basis were it not for Facebook. I find this amazing and I love it.

I can’t advise another writer how to mine the depths of social networking to help sell books but I’d like to suggest it’s possible to use social networking to help define yourself as a person.

BTW: This picture was taken August '09 and that's Trooper at 10.5 weeks. It's a lousy pic of both of us but it will have to do... it's the only one we took that day. I always take lousy pictures so for me this was nothing new but Trooper was gorgeous! He was naturally photogenic and liked to pose. Trooper came and had to leave so that Shadow could come and I could write about Wolf. Their story is at the top of this blog, titled "Trooper, Shadow & Wolf."

Take care.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

One Lame-Ass Blog Post

Mick's List
I have a list as long as your arm of things I need to do today...

Why can't I get motivated?

Mick's Whirling Mind

I need to get back to writing "March Storm" and would like to have a cover ready before I finish the book but the cover doesn't seem to be coming together for me as well as I'd like and that's certainly not the fault of anyone but me because I know I've been all over the road... I'm sort of all twisted up about it too. Know what I mean?

Bat-Shit Crazy People
There are interviews to give and to be written (I know many great authors and other interesting people and want to introduce them to you...) and I have emails to answer and generate and I started an article several days ago about The Comstock Laws (the true story about the man who decided to conduct a sexual purity campaign in America) that I need to finish because I already promised it to the editor of another blog. It's a great article and very timely because a bat-shit crazy group of people calling themselves "Personhood USA" are now warring on our reproductive rights. Who the hell are these people?

And my beloved "January Moon" needs some attention; I need to get back on schedule with its promotion...which reminds me I have a date tomorrow with some lovely people in a book club who've invited me to visit and discuss "January Moon." I'm thrilled about that and think it will be a lot of fun but I need to call and get directions again.
I had a directions here somewhere... I can't find a damn thing on my desk.

Did I mention I need to get my hair done and also find a card for 50th Wedding Anniversary this Friday? 

Oh yeah, and we have dear friends coming to visit next week and more dear friends are planning a get together for all of us to get together... and I have a few things I need to do to get ready and I'm also trying to put together another get together with old friends from grade school & high school....and wow, why are these things either feast or famine? Four Hundred Years of Loneliness and all at once it's Party Time! Isn't that always how it goes?  Especially in June?

And then there's the none-too small matter that I also need to get a plumber about a wee leak under the sink and find the time to pull some weeds and kill some dust bunnies lurking in dark shadows thoughout the house.

Mick's Monstrous Weeds
THE GILLS HAVE THE LARGEST, UGLIEST WEEDS IN AMERICA -- HERE, TAKE A LOOK IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME.

And this NO laughing matter... one of them attacked the dog last night. The damn thing jumped up off the lawn and wrapped itself around Shadow's tail and almost dragged him into the netherworld (true story).

But we're not half as worried about the Killer Weeds as we are about the Monster Dust Bunnies.... We had four cats and now we're down to three.  Worrisome, very worrisome...
Mick's Monstrous Dust Bunnies


I want to do a blog tour and don't even know what the hell that is (do I need to pack walking shoes?) and I think we're growing a new form of penicillin in the crisper in the 'fridge and it just dawned on me I think I need to give the dog his heartworm prevention meds today and let's see... what else?

This is the 7th and I don't think I've paid all the bills yet... God, I'm a mess.

 And Twitter. What the hell is that really all about? I was going to experiment with it but forgot why or how and I know I need to go to my website and study some stats and share an idea I have with my web team... and I'm wondering why we didn't hear from Shaun over the weekend. We'd better give him a call... among other things, we need to start discussing our trip to visit him up in Maine this summer. Hmmm... his father better get on the ball with our travel plans.


Have I ever told you how much I love Maine?






Here's a delightful family picture of me having fun in Maine last summer. 


OOOPS, wrong picture... OK, here's the picture of me having fun in Maine last summer. 



(Woke you up with that one, didn't I?)



OK, so that's how I MIGHT have looked to you if you were really drunk and really lonely back when I was 21 and lived in Ft. Lauderdale.

And here's how I REALLY looked -- half-geezed after a day at the beach -- relaxing at a lovely restaurant near the ocean when I was in Maine last summer.



Doncha' think Ursula and I could be twins? 

Well, it's now 1:30 in the afternoon and I've successfully persuaded myself I've just worked pretty damn hard writing this post even if it is hands-down the most lame-ass thing I've ever written in my entire life... and you know, there's no time to do a rewrite because there's a hammock in the yard calling my name and I see Al has his eye on it too and I need to wrap this up and beat him out to the yard.

But I'll make myself feel quite responsible because I'll take my work with me, right out to the hammock. Here's my plan: because so many people say I write like Michael Connolly I finally downloaded "The Lincoln Lawyer" to my Kindle but haven't been able to snatch it away from Al... he's been really engrossed in it and told me over coffee this morning, "Yeah, it's true. You and Connolly write a lot alike." I really need to see if this is true. What better excuse to bump Al from both his claims to the hammock and the Kindle?

"Honey, I have work to do..."

Of course, now that you've read this post there's no chance in hell you're buying the idea that I write anything like Connolly but, trust me, that's what's being said.

Do I think it's true?

I have no idea... that's why I need to grab the Kindle, hit the hammock, and put everything else on hold.

An indulgence? No way!

It's called "research" my friends! 


You understand, right?

Of course you do!